Point Blank
by Fallain
Summary: Lydecker's thoughts and memories of Ben during the episode Pollo Loco. One-shot.


Warnings: Season 1 spoilers and character death

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Durr.

One- Shot

Point Blank

Donald Lydecker tapped his pen against his desk, his eyes glued stationarily to the computer screen infront of him. He didn't even need the pen, he was working on the computer. But at the moment his mind was lost in thoughts and memories; rendering him useless against formulating plans so the thin weight between his fingers calmed him as it gave his fingers something to do.

X5-453. Better known to the other X5's as 'Ben'. His face filled the computer screen along with several open windows scattered around the small frame of his latest victim. A male body laying propped up against a rock in some desolate woods like a matyr.

He felt like he should be proud of Ben, proud that at least one of his escaped children remembered his training and was acting out the purpose he'd raised them for. But this wasn't what he'd raised them for. They were supposed to be soldiers, perfect soldiers to protect the weak and innocent and prevent unessecary deaths in war.

But Ben...Ben was killing the innocent civilians he was supposed to protect. Sending them on a wild goose run through the woods before slaughtering them. Sure Lydecker was the one who had introduced him and the other children to the practice, but he had used criminals from death row whose lives wouldn't be wasted. These people...these victims, they had done nothing wrong but perhaps give him a wrong look.

Why was he doing it? The question repeated itself over and over inbetween his other thoughts. Training? Was he merely keeping his hunting skills primed? But why was he taking the teeth? What on Earth could he be doing with them? A cold sensation clenched in Lydecker's gut as a small voice in his head whispered it was because Ben was an abnomily. He drowned out the whisper with blunt refusel to accept that answer. Ben was an X5. The X5's were perfect. They were his children. There was no way. No way he wanted to believe it anyway.

Ben being an abnomily would mean that he would have to be locked down in the basement cells with the others. He could hear their screams sometimes at night, echoing around the corridors and he refeused to add one of his kid's screams to that chorus.

He shook his head, taking off his glasses and letting the pen drop from his hand with a small clatter against the table.

He just wanted him home. He just wanted all of his kids back - Max, Zack, Seth, Tinga, all of them. The longer they were out in the real world, the longer it would take to get them back to obediance. It had already been over 10 years. That was over 10 years too long. He should have drilled obediance into them harder, then they never would even thought of escaping in the first place.

His memories wandered back to the time he'd been awoken at 3 in the morning by a blaring alarm and his phone ringing off the hook. He jumped from his bed, grabbing his jacket as he threw on his boots and ran out into the hallway. He'd forgotten to grab his glasses but he knew his way around the halls of Manticore better than the back of his hand so his fuzzy, wavered vision didn't slow him down as he pushed his way past other personel.

His beeper was clutched tightly in his hand and flashing the cordinates to the roof. What the hell could be on the roof that they would be paging him for so urgently? Surely it couldn't be one of his kids, they were all locked up in the rooms with the lights out.

But as he raced up the stairs, his short legs stuggling to take the steps in leaps and he busted through the doors, the fresh winter air immediatly whipping at his face - it was one of his kids.

X5 - 453. Ben. Was standing in on the roof, oblivious to the chilly wind around him and in the middle of a helicopter spot light. His first panicked thought was that it was an escape attempt but after a deep breath, his thoughts slowed and calmed, and he noticed the tears streaming down the clearly distressed child's face and the strange statue behind him.

He barely gave the statue of the woman or the cloths bound at her feet a second thought as he strode forward and let his intemidating superiror mask fall into place as he forcefully grabbed the boy by the arm and dragged him back down into the building.

Ben let himself be dragged weakly behind the older man. Lydecker should have been alarmed at the lack of resistance the boy was putting up but he pushed the warning signs out of his mind as he unlocked a small cell and threw the child into it, quickly stepping in behind him and slamming the metal door shut with a sharp clang.

Behind the doors he heard footsteps and the cocking of military guns. He knew guards had taken stance outside and let himself focus fully on the situation at hand. The situation that was one of his kids had managed to escape just so they could stand on the roof and scream.

"453, what were you doing up there?" His thoughts were screaming but he kept his voice low and deadly, addressing Ben by his barcode even if he did think of them with their friend given names.

"I - I had to ask the blue lady...sir." The boy desperatly wanted to find somewhere, anywhere in the room to let his wandering eyes rest as they darted from corner to corner, frightened to look Lydecker in the face.

Lydecker internally sighed in exasperation. "And who is the blue lady?"

"She watches over us sir." Confidence filled his small voice for a moment. "She keeps us safe, and keeps up from becoming like the abnomilies sir."

He bit back a groan. As hard as he had tried to keep religions out of Manticore and away from these kids so eliminate any debate over the spiritual consequences of their actions, go figure they had still found some sort of a religious icon to put their young beliefs in. The blue lady, yea, that sounded like something a room full of kids would come up with.

He boy infront of him was visibilly fighting a loosing battle to fidget and for a second weakness toke over Lydecker and he wanted to reach out and hug the child, or at least pat him on the head. But then the second was over in a flash, and he turned and left the small isolation room, locking Ben inside and debating the best punishment for him in the morning as he made his way back to his own room.

As sleep evaded him that night, a guard came to him with a small bloody bundle of cloth.

"What the hell is that?" He asked.

The guard looked uncomforble but hid it in his voice well.

"It's..well, it was on the roof sir."

He nodded and toke the package from the guard, giving him permission to leave with a wave of his hand. Carefully unwrapping it, a few peices fell out of the cloth and clattered to the floor. A few teeth that is. Lydecker groaned out loud finally and slammed the cloth full of teeth onto his desk. A sick tribute the kids had taken from their last hunting practice victim no doubt. And there was no furthur doubt in his mind that it had been left on the roof as some sort of gift to their imaginary goddess.

He sent the order out for the statue to be removed from the roof and destroyed as soon as possible. He kept a tighter survaliance and made sure no more religious ideas of any sort sprouted among his children from that moment on.

But the damage had already been done and that should have been his first sign that there was something wrong with his Ben.

He involuntarily jerked from his memories as his phone beeped and he quickly answered, hoping for good news.

D A 0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo D A

Lydecker stepped into the old warehouse, glass crunching beneath his boots as he toke in the scene before him.

Blood was splattered on the floor all around him and a metal door hung off it's hinges. But it wasn't the blood or destruction around him that bothered him.

This was where Ben was reported to have been staying. And all around him, all he saw was graffitti on the walls. Mission. Obediance. Train. Survival.

The key words that he had drilled into his kids minds since day one surrounded him and he closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose and fighting to keep back the headache that was threatening to form.

He felt as if he had taken Ben's hand in his own and forced him to spray paint those walls. He didn't understand. Max and Zack had seemed stable enough when he had glimpsed them. What was wrong with his Ben? If he felt so strongly about his training, why didn't he just come back to Manticore? He could help him, run tests, re-program him, re-discipline him, re-train him.

He resisted reaching out and touching the cracked, grey brick walls that held the black paint, the proof of his lessons having an impact on one of his kids, even if the impact was harder that he would have ever imagined possible. He knew the kids escaped that night to have a free, normal life. But Ben was trapped in his own world where he couldn't escape his training. The boy - now a man - was obviously mentally wrecked and unstable. He couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through the X5's mind at the moment, or even in the previous years leading up to this snap.

He let his mind wander back to the days where he was still teaching the children in that bleak militarty classroom. The words that were painted around him flashed across a screen over and over as he barked orders and explinations to the handful of kids that sat infront of him, their eyes glued to his every movement.

Except for Ben. Ben's attention was on the ceiling, most likly wondering where his beloved blue lady was. Back then he had thought that Ben wasn't absorbing the information and lessons he was being given. He thought Ben would be the weakest link of the class, the runt, the failure.

Now, however, he saw how wrong he had been to assume Ben wasn't listening. Apparently he had been listening harder and more efficiently than any of his other kids. He should be proud, he thought for what seemed like the millionth time that week. He should be proud. So why did he feel so sick as if bile was threatening to build up in his throat.

He swallowed down the need to heave up his breakfast and stood strong, waving the guards and soldiers out the door to work on tracking down Ben once again.

Lydecker needed to get him back to Manticore. Immediatly. It was dangerous to have a solider like Ben roaming free. Even worse in Seattle, where he knew Max lived and refused to leave. He hated the idea of these two soldiers coming face to face and what the outcome of a battle between them would be.

D A 0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo D A

Deep down, he knew Max would have found Ben. He knew the girl had high connections and would have caught wind of barcoded rumors and rushed out to find her brother.

And deeper down, he knew what would happen when they met.

He moved through the trees and into the clearing, his mind blank for the first time in days and his body moving as if of it's own accord. Robotic and walking through jelly.

He never let even the smaller flicker of hope light inside him as soon as he saw Ben's body laying on the forest floor, his leg twisted into an unatural angle, his skin ghastly pale and lips tinged blue. But reguardless, Lydecker knelt beside the body and felt for a pulse beneath the cold skin.

Nothing. Not even the smallest beat of blood through the body as he felt a peice of bone poke his fingers and realized his neck had been broken.

Max. It had to have been Max...no one else in Seattle was strong enough to break one of his children in this way and he was thankful that his eyes were closed, sparing him having to see those sightless, accusing green eyes devoid of all life and light, accusing him of not being strict enough or strong enough to succeed in protecting his kids.

If only he could have made it here sooner, put the puzzle peices together quicker, maybe he would be back in his car right now with Ben safely locked up behind him where he belonged and on their way back to Manticore. But no, he had been too preoccupied with covering Ben's tracks of his morbid, twisted actions from the prying public eyes.

His lips moved, giving orders to take the body back to Manticore for cremation but his own voice was foreign and sounded muffled to his own ears. His eyes saw nothing but the fallen angel laying infront of him that would never wake up.

He had failed. One of his kids were dead and it was his fault for not finding him and taking him back to Manicore quick enough. He would at least see to it that Ben was cremated, he wouldn't let anyone else know about his abnormal condition. He wouldn't allow them to experiment on his child's body.

He let his fingers drift away from the broken body of Ben. No, not Ben anymore. Ben was gone, dead, finally resting in peace, leaving behind only the body of X5-453.

End

Meeeeh just a one shot I had in my head. Just something about the way Lydecker looked when he looked around that warehouse at the walls or when he checked for a pulse caught my attention. And I know he was an ass during training but I always belived that deep down he cared about all of X5 like they were his real children. Besides, why didn't the show elaborate on what happened to Ben after he got caught on the roof? I mean, the kid was up there in the middle of the night screaming with a bunch of teeth around a statue. That didn't raise any questions?


End file.
